What do you do when you’re going along in life and things are going fine, you’re being blessed, your family is healthy and your company is prospering—when all of a sudden the bottom drops out?

(Your spouse tells you they want a divorce; or you find out one of your children is very sick; or maybe that your company is laying you off)

What do you do when the road you’re on suddenly takes an unexpected turn and you find yourself in a place you never thought you’d be in, facing a situation you’re not prepared to deal with?

Well that’s exactly what happened to David, the son of Jesse—

1 Samuel 30:1-4 (NKJV)
Now it happened, when David and his men came to Ziklag, on the third day, that the Amalekites had invaded the South and Ziklag, attacked Ziklag and burned it with fire, and had taken captive the women and those who were there, from small to great; they did not kill anyone, but carried them away and went their way. So David and his men came to the city, and there it was, burned with fire; and their wives, their sons, and their daughters had been taken captive. Then David and the people who were with him lifted up their voices and wept, until they had no more power to weep.

Ziklag  means “winding road”—life is like that at times.

You’re going along fine, where everything seems like smooth sailing—when all of a sudden, the road you’re on takes a turn you didn’t see coming.  Suddenly the things in life that matter most to you—your marriage and family, your health, or your security is suddenly gone—or at least is in danger of being taken from you.

So—how do you handle that? What do you do? To whom or to what do you turn for help and strength?

1 Samuel 30:6 (NKJV)
Now David was greatly distressed, for the people spoke of stoning him, because the soul of all the people was grieved, every man for his sons and his daughters. But David strengthened himself in the Lord his God.

How did David strengthen himself in God?  The same way we are to.

1.   Remember that God is still on the throne (sovereign)

The first thing I believe David did, even if it’s not mentioned here but is standard operating procedure for all Spirit-filled believers, was to remind himself that—God is in control of every situation.

Psalms 42:5 (NKJV)
Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him For the help of His countenance.
When I’m facing a terrible problem, I can go on being depressed, discouraged and defeated or I can say to myself:

Psalms 40:1-3 (NKJV)
What’s wrong with you? God is still on the throne. He is with me in this circumstance. He will see me through this. I’m going to hope in Him and He will deliver me and put a new song of praise in my heart.  

2.   Take some time to quiet your heart in God’s presence.

The world takes refuge in pills and the bottle—but we in the Lord our God.

Psalms 27:14 (NKJV)
Wait on the Lord; Be of good courage, And He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the Lord!

Isaiah 30:15 (NKJV)
“…In quietness and confidence shall be your strength.”

When you’re facing terrible news don’t panic or rely on your own strength—spend some time in His presence and let Him calm and strengthen you.

3.   Take refuge in His word and cling to His promises.

Joshua 1:8-9 (NKJV)
This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate in it day and night, that you may observe to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.

Psalm 34:17-19 (NKJV)
The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears, and delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, And saves such as have a contrite spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, But the Lord delivers him out of them all.

4.   Spend some time worshipping the Lord.

It doesn’t say in this passage that David praised the Lord in this trial—but if you know anything about David he had a heart of worship and praise. And so, I believe he spent a little time offering up praise to God in the midst of this horrible circumstance—praise for what God was going to do!

“But what if I don’t feel like praising God when I’m in the midst of a terrible circumstance?”—that’s why the Bible calls it a “sacrifice of praise”.

I have been encouraged and strengthened many times when facing difficult circumstances by taking time to get alone with God and putting on some worship music and praising Him.
Praising God for what He’s going to do—even before He does anything is a manifestation of faith which is essential if God’s power is going the flow into our lives and help us in our time of need.

5.   Pray to God for guidance

1 Samuel 30:7-8 (NKJV)
Then David said to Abiathar the priest, Ahimelech’s son, “Please bring the ephod here to me.” And Abiathar brought the ephod to David. So David inquired of the Lord, saying, “Shall I pursue this troop? Shall I overtake them?” And He answered him, “Pursue, for you shall surely overtake them and without fail recover all.”

So often when things take a turn for the worse in our lives—we spend most of the time trying to figure out how we’re going to fix the problem and we pray last, when prayer should be one of the first things we do.

Proverbs 3:5-6 (NLT)
Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek His will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take.

6.   Obey God completely and with all your heart in all He tells you to do (that’s what David did and look at the results)

1 Samuel 30:18-19 (NKJV)
So David recovered all that the Amalekites had carried away, and David rescued his two wives. And nothing of theirs was lacking, either small or great, sons or daughters, spoil or anything which they had taken from them; David recovered all.

David recovered all that the Amalekites carried away—not some, not most—but all. This is the Lord’s will for all of His children—He wants us to recover all that has been ripped off by sin and the devil. (stolen love, peace, joy etc.)

Now, I can’t guarantee that it will all be restored in this life but if not—it will be multiplied back to you in heaven someday. Until then—no matter how badly the enemy attacks you—keep on fighting until you gain the victory—don’t give up, but strengthen yourself daily in the Lord your God!

Pastor Phil

Originally posted Jan. 2018

We all remember the proverb growing up, “sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me.”  Our parents taught us to say that to the kids who were making fun out of us by calling us names.

As a kid I tried using that tip several times as a defense against the mean words that some directed at me—but I have to be honest, it really didn’t stop the pain of those hurtful words.
 As I got older and reflected on that saying a little, I came to realize that, although our parents meant well, the reason their advice didn’t help to stop the pain of unkind words is because—that saying isn’t true!

While it’s true that sticks and stones can inflict physical pain and may even break a bone or two—those wounds usually heal without any lasting effects. But an unkind word spoken carelessly or in a moment of anger—well, that can wound for a lifetime.

That’s why the psalmist prayed—
Psalm 64:2-3 (NKJV) 
Hide me from the secret plots of the wicked, From the rebellion of the workers of iniquity, Who sharpen their tongue like a sword, And bend their bows to shoot their arrows–bitter words.

The psalmist is saying that bitter, hateful words are like arrows that once set to flight cannot be recalled, and once lodged in the heart of another can continue to cause pain for many years to come.

Proverbs 18:21 (NKJV)
Death and life are in the power of the tongue, And those who love it will eat its fruit.
Or to put it another way—a word ‘planted’ in the heart of another will produce ‘fruit’—the fruit of healing and edification or the fruit of pain and destruction, depending on whether the words spoken were kind or hurtful.

Someone has said, “the tongue is so powerful that God created it to be the only member of our body that comes with its own ‘cage’—so be careful when you release it!”  That’s because the spoken word is a powerful thing—

Warren Wiersbe said:
“A judge speaks some words and a guilty prisoner is taken to a cell on death row. A gossip makes a phone call and a reputation is blemished or perhaps ruined. A cynical professor makes a snide remark in a lecture and a student’s faith is destroyed.
Never underestimate the power of words. For every word in Hitler’s book Mein Kampf, 125 people died in World War II. Solomon was right: “Death and life are in the power of the tongue” (Prov. 18:21). No wonder James compared the tongue to a destroying fire, a dangerous beast, and a deadly poison (James 3:5–8). Speech is a matter of life or death.”

When James likened the tongue to a “destroying fire, a dangerous beast, and a deadly poison”—he wasn’t implying that the tongue acts alone in its destructive dirty work.  As we study other passages of Scripture, we discover that the tongue is really only one member in a trio that work together in hurting or destroying another.

Let’s use a gun to illustrate the destruction caused by the tongue. When we’re talking about a gun, it isn’t the gun that does the killing—the bullet does the actual killing.  The gun is what fires the bullet and the hand of the gunman is what pulls the trigger on the gun—each plays a vital role in the injury and/or death of another.

Without any one of these the victim would not be hurt—all three have to be working together to cause harm. The same is true with the injury done to another through our words.

The words actually do the harm, the tongue is what fires off the words and the heart is what pulls the trigger on the tongue. The heart not only pulls the trigger on the tongue—but it also supplies the ammunition in the form of words that come from a heart of hatred, bitterness, unforgiveness and revenge.

Jesus said that—“out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.”

When we go to a doctor for a physical, one of the first things he or she often says is, “Stick out your tongue and say ahhh.”  By doing this a doctor can often spot certain symptoms that reveal what is going on inside the body that may indicate the presence of infection or disease.

In essence, the Great Physician is applying this principle spiritually—He is telling us that the tongue will reveal what’s going on inside the heart and therefore what condition the heart is in.  If the words coming out of your mouth are often critical, unloving and judgmental towards others—it indicates that there’s a problem with the condition of your heart.
The first thing you need to do is to acknowledge your sin and confess it to God—

1 John 1:9 (NKJV) 
If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

Next you need to do as David did in Psalm 51 as he repented for his sin with Bathsheba he prayed—

Psalm 51:10 (NKJV)
Create in me a clean heart, O God, And renew a steadfast spirit within me.

And then pray every day—

Psalm 141:3 (NKJV) 
Set a guard, O LORD, over my mouth; Keep watch over the door of my lips.
Remember the Bible says, “In a multitude of words sin is not lacking”—sometimes the fewer words we speak in a given situation the better!

So, pray and obey—

Ephesians 4:29 (NKJV) 
Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.

All of this is especially important in marriage and is one of the main reasons so many marriages are crumbling—it’s as someone has said:
“Many marriages are like the mighty oaks which line the ridges of the Rockies—they withstand winter and summer storms year after year only to be brought down by an attack of little beetles.”

There are a lot of marriages that have survived a long time and have withstood many storms in life—only to be finally brought down by years of careless and unkind words.  Let me repeat that—many marriages have survived physical sickness, financial crisis and even marital unfaithfulness—and yet have finally been destroyed by the proverbial “death of a thousand cuts.”

So, let’s all remember what God’s word says on the subject—

Proverbs 12:18 (NLT2) 
Some people make cutting remarks, but the words of the wise bring healing.

Let’s purpose in our hearts to use our tongues to honor God and build up others—and let’s purpose to start in our homes with our spouses and our children.

There is great potential for healing and fruitfulness in the power of our words.  I’ll end with the words of Solomon in Proverbs 16:24—“Kind words are like honey, sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.”

Pastor Phil

I would like to start off by saying that nothing is more important in the eyes of God than a pure heart.

What you are, how you think, what you do are all the result of what condition your heart is in. It is therefore no exaggeration to say that your heart is truly at the heart of everything God desires for your life.  Medically speaking we know that the heart is the organ inside our chest cavity that pumps blood to the various parts of our body. Biblically speaking, the heart is the ‘master control center’ of your soul (your inner man) and the seat of your will which controls the way you live your life.  That’s why the Word of God admonishes us to: “Keep your heart with all diligence, For out of it spring the issues of life.” (Proverbs 4:23)

Now, there are two kinds of hearts in the world—pure hearts and polluted hearts, or in other words redeemed hearts and fallen hearts. Since the Bible says that out of the human heart would flow the actions of a person’s life—we can see that great good has come from those who have redeemed hearts, while at the same time great evil has come from those whose hearts are unredeemed and polluted by sin.

A. The Polluted Heart

“For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies.”(Matthew 15:19)

The evil in the hearts of people in our society has led to all kinds of problems: adultery, idolatry, pornography, homosexuality, domestic violence, divorce, corruption at every level of government and every other problem we face as a nation can be traced back to the evil in the heart of man. They tell us the answer lies in better education, if we can better educate people about aids, domestic violence, drug abuse we can solve these problems.

Look, you can educate people about their sin, but they just become more educated sinners.
Educating people about these things only deals with the symptoms but leaves the basic underlying problem undealt with—man’s wicked heart—a heart that’s polluted with evil thoughts and desires.   However, psychologists and sociologists tell us that man’s problem is his environment.  If we can somehow give people a better environment to live in it will make them better people who will be less likely to live destructive lives toward themselves and others.  I see some truth to that, I mean living in poor, crime ridden areas will help promote some lawless behavior.

What people fail to understand is that man originally sinned, not in the ghetto but in the Garden—the Garden of Eden, paradise—the perfect environment. So trying to put him in a better environment isn’t going to solve the problem when he blew it in the perfect environment in the first place.  You see the problem isn’t outward, the problem is inward.

The Lord, speaking in the book of Jeremiah said:
“The heart (the fallen depraved heart of man) is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked…” (Jeremiah 17:9)

And Jesus said that out of the evil attitudes in the heart proceed all kinds of evil and destructive actions.

The only real cure for man’s problems is to somehow cleanse or purify his heart–which Jesus alluded to when He said, “Cleanse the inside of the cup and it will overflow and cleanse the outside also.”  The only problem is that man is helpless to cleanse his own heart.

“Who can say, ‘I have made my heart clean, I am pure from my sin?'” (Proverbs 20:9)

The answer of course is NO ONE!

“Can the Ethiopian change his skin or the leopard its spots? Then may you also do good who are accustomed to do evil.” (Jeremiah 13:23)

We are powerless to change what we are; we are powerless to change our nature. A person can’t do anything to cleanse their own heart. And that’s the problem with religion. Religion at its best only surface cleans a person but leaves the heart untouched. A good example of this was the Pharisees. They had a superficial, outward form of self-righteousness that Jesus condemned.

“Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs which indeed appear beautiful outwardly, but inside are full of dead men’s bones and all uncleanness. 28 Even so you also outwardly appear righteous to men, but inside you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness.” (Matthew 23:27-28)

So if we can’t purify our own hearts not even through religious works, ceremonies and rituals and only those who have a pure heart will see God or in other words live with Him forever in heaven—the question is how then can we get a cleansed or purified heart?

B. The Pure Heart

What is a pure heart?

The Greek word for “pure” is katharos. It has 2 basic meanings: clean and unmixed. Our English word “cathartic” comes from this Greek word. A cathartic is an agent used by a doctor for the cleansing of the physical system. We speak of catharsis on the emotional level when a person is cleansed of bitterness, anger and other destructive emotions. But there is also a spiritual catharsis, which is a cleansing of the inner man or the heart.

“…purifying their hearts by faith.” (Acts 15:9)

“But if we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanses us from all sin.” (1 John 1:7)

So “pure in heart” first of all means a heart cleansed of sin through Jesus Christ.  The Greek word for ‘pure’ also involves being unmixed or undiluted. Example: Gold is pure when all the dross has been removed—it is undiluted with dross and is pure. Wheat that has been separated from the chaff is pure wheat—it is unmixed with chaff.  The basic idea here is a heart that is completely devoted to God and not diluted with a love for the world which the Bible calls having a divided heart. When God cleanses a sinner and makes him His child, he is made pure in heart in the sense his sins are washed away and he has now received a new heart with new and godly attitudes.

God also wants that person to be pure in heart from the standpoint that God and God alone is their first love to Whom belongs not only their love but their loyalty and complete devotion.

“No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will be loyal to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon.” (Matthew 6:24)

“And if it seems evil to you to serve the LORD, choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.” (Joshua 24:15)

A pure heart will produce a changed life—a life of devotion to God. Blessed is the one with a pure heart for they shall see God.  Now I can hear some Christians saying to themselves, “My heart used to be pure for the Lord. It used to guard it against sin and the pollution of the world. My heart used to be undivided for Him—I don’t know what has happened…”

You sound like King David who God called a ‘man after My own heart’. And yet David drifted in his heart toward God and became comfortable and complacent–the result was he committed adultery with Bathsheba and had her husband Uriah murdered as he attempted to cover his sin. Eventually God sent Nathan the prophet to confront David concerning his sin.

David wrote down his confession in Psalm 51:
“Have mercy upon me, O God, According to Your lovingkindness; According to the multitude of Your tender mercies, Blot out my transgressions. Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, And cleanse me from my sin…  Create in me a clean heart, O God, And renew a steadfast spirit within me… Restore to me the joy of Your salvation, And uphold me by Your generous Spirit.” (Psalm 51:1-2, 10, 12)

God heard David’s confession and forgave him his sin. If God could forgive David and restore him to fellowship don’t you think He will do that for you if you turn from your sin?  It’s not too late to ask God to cleanse your heart and draw you close to Him again.
“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9)

May the Lord richly bless you as you walk with Him day by day.

Pastor Phil

“The Importance of Godly Fathers” 
a blog post by Pastor Phil Ballmaier
(6/8/21)
 
For more Blog Posts click Here
 
In roughly a week and a half we will celebrate one of the most important and yet downplayed commemorations on our country’s calendar—Father’s Day.

Father’s Day is a day we have set aside each year to honor our nation’s fathers and their contribution to the family unit.  Unfortunately, fathers are not appreciated as they once were in our country and their contributions in childrearing (especially when it comes to raising their sons)—has fallen on ‘hard-times.’

I admit that much of the criticism directed at dads today is ‘self-inflicted’—in other words, it has been ‘earned’ by many fathers in their failure to be good role models for their children.
This would include the role of being good providers, faithful and loving husbands to their wives (which has a huge impact on children and their emotional development) and godly leaders in the home (if they haven’t abandoned their families and their responsibilities in the home all-together).

Yet society at large has also greatly helped to denigrate and destroy the institution of fatherhood in the minds of many—which hasn’t motivated men to want to be better fathers either.

In an article entitled, “The War on Fathers”, author David Kupelian writes:
 “‘Father knows best.’ How do those three words make you feel? Turn them over in your mind a couple of times and be aware of the subtlest of feelings. Be honest. Do they make you feel slightly squeamish? A little discomfort in your solar plexus? Is something deep down inside you repelled by those words?

    If so, you're not alone. Contempt for male authority – as if to say, "Give me a break, father sure didn't know best in my life" – is everywhere around us. We're swimming in it. You see, men, boys and masculinity itself have been under withering national assault for decades.

   "Father Knows Best," of course, was a popular TV show during the 1950’s, when I was a little boy. Set in the wholesome Midwestern town of "Springfield," insurance agent Jim Anderson (played by Robert Young) would come home from work each evening, trade his sport jacket for a nice, comfortable sweater, and then deal with the everyday growing-up problems of his family. Both Jim and wife Margaret (played by Jane Wyatt) were cast as thoughtful and mature grown-ups. Jim could always be counted on to resolve that week's crisis with a combination of kindness, fatherly strength and good old common sense.

   Today, more often than not, television portrays husbands as bumbling losers or contemptible, self-absorbed egomaniacs. Whether in dramas, comedies or commercials—the patriarchy is dead, at least on TV where men are fools.

However, it's not only in Hollywood, but on Main Street, that masculinity has become uncool and even despised.”

What has happened in our country that, in such a short time, masculinity in general and fatherhood in particular has become so maligned?

Well, a variety of factors have worked together to bring us to this place.

Author J. Richard Fugate in his book, “What the Bible Says About Being a Man” gives us a brief summary of some of the factors that have led to the cultural shift that has come to characterize 21st century America.

    “There were very few major changes in society for the first 200 years of America’s agrarian (living off the land) history. Prior to about 1840, families were self-sufficient—growing or making almost everything they consumed. The average family had seven children who were an integral part of the family economy and who were schooled at home.
   Then, the Industrial Revolution totally changed American life from 1840 to 1940. The family unit became restructured during this period. Fathers left the homestead to work in the city and the men/father influence in society began to decrease. Most home functions (growing food, making clothes, building furniture, training the children) had to be abandoned. It was during this time that women/mothers, instead of men/fathers, gradually became the moral leaders of home, family, school, church, and social reform.

   Soon after the war was over in 1945, several factors converged at about the same time.
 
1.  America was beginning to experience tremendous prosperity.
2.  Men were gone long hours from home to obtain that prosperity.
3.  Women were running the homes and the schools.

These factors led to a lack of masculine training of little boys in America.  Between World War II and the prosperity of the 50s, fathers were often absent from the home and therefore unable to influence their boys properly and exemplify for them what it meant to be a man. Little boys were surrounded by women caregivers almost all the time. They had mothers at home, female teachers at school, and even women Sunday school teachers in most cases.

   While generally girls are all nice and sweet with just a hint of spice; boys are jumpy, wiggly, and slimy. Even a cursory observation of a preschool play yard today will reveal that boys are still up to their old tricks. Aggression seems to motivate their every activity. They run, compete, and attempt to dominate. They push, threaten, test, challenge, and explore.
They roughhouse, and tumble. They love bodily contact and insist on there being a winner in every endeavor.

   It is no surprise that women naturally detest certain facets of the male’s character [so much so that today they have come to call it ‘toxic-masculinity’]. Male aggression, often uncleanness, risk-taking, being academically lazy, and generally uncouth are not very lady like. Mothers and female teachers alike have long tried to restrict the supposedly negative and unseemly traits of boys and thus make them a little more like the sugar and spice genteel, and well-mannered girls.

   Certainly, ladies did not mean anything wrong when they tried to eliminate toy guns from the hands of boys after all those wars. (Of course, without a gun the boys just picked up a stick or a doll’s leg and said, “bang.”)

   Neither were these women being malicious when they tried to soften the corners on untrained boys. However, they knew little about how to develop boy’s masculinity correctly. That is how it should be—this was the job Dad should have been doing. However, without Dad, the tendency over the past 50 years has been to hand boys over to the female caregivers to be raised more like women than men.”

The effects of trying to “de-masculinize” and “feminize” little boys has taken its toll on them and on the men they eventually become in a number of areas.

Author David Kupelian gives some examples:
   “In public school classrooms across America, in every category and every demographic group—boys are falling behind. Girls are excelling and moving on to college, where almost three out of every five students today are female. At the same time, young boys – who don't naturally thrive when forced to sit still at a desk listening to a teacher lecture for six hours a day – are diagnosed by the millions with new diseases that didn't exist a generation ago. To "treat" them and make their behavior more acceptable, we force them to take dangerous psycho-stimulant drugs—Yes, dangerous!

   Between six and nine million American children, mostly males, are taking Ritalin, the most popular treatment for Johnny's "attention-deficit" and "overactivity" problems at school. But Ritalin is the trade name for “Meth-al-fenidate” Methylphenidate—which the Drug Enforcement Administration classifies as a "Schedule II" substance. "The controlled substances in this schedule," the DEA cautions, "have a high abuse potential with severe psychological or physical dependence liability, but have accepted medical use in the U.S."

   Thus, rather than focusing on understanding boys' actual make-up and crafting an educational experience to fit their genuine needs, "pediatricians and child psychiatrists are increasingly turning to pharmacology as the treatment of choice for depression, attention disorder, severe anxiety, obsessive disorder, manic depression and other conditions," reports the New York Times—and twice as many boys as girls are being given these psychiatric drugs.

   "What we have done," explains Thomas Mortenson, senior scholar at the Pell Institute for the Study of Opportunity in Higher Education, "is we have a K-12 school system that seems to work relatively well for girls and does not work for a very large share of boys."

School statistics show that: "Boys are greater than 50 percent more likely than girls to repeat grades in elementary school, according to a recent U.S. Department of Education study. They're also one-third more likely to drop out of high school and twice as likely to have a learning disability."

Oh, and not only that—the suicide rate among teen boys is far higher than that of girls. I think that most of this has come from our abandoning the God given roles of men and women in our society and the belief that God has made us and ‘wired’ us differently as males and females—for a reason.

And the failure to acknowledge this fact is either due to ignorance or is a capitulation to feminists and leftists who are pushing for a totally egalitarian, gender neutral society.
We need to return to what the Bible says about the roles of men and women in the home and in society and realize that little boys are not “broken” and don’t need to be “fixed”—trained-yes, fixed-no!

Even as maverick feminist Camille Paglia courageously reminds her men-hating colleagues— “Masculinity is the most creative cultural force in history."
 
Richard Fugate reinforces that by adding:
  “Indeed, the "force" that for millennia has tamed the wilderness, constructed civilizations, revolutionized life through dazzling inventions and sacrificed its own life to protect women and children has been masculinity.”

However, he goes on to say,
  “This behavioral conditioning away from masculinity has been disastrous for the past three generations of male adults graduating into society. Nobody seemed to realize that when the aggression is completely trained out (and/or shamed out) of a boy, it can produce a man who will not fight to provide for or protect his wife or family.

Women had no idea that taking away a boy’s competitiveness might result in his becoming a loser in the highly competitive game of life that most breadwinners must play. Boys do need to learn how to control their aggression properly, but men who have been taught that all competitiveness is wrong will not likely strive for leadership positions in business, military, or government (or even in their own homes).”

I think the point has been made that little boys desperately need their fathers—their time, influence, and teaching in what it means to be a man of God in character and sacrificial leadership.

What is the answer?

1. Men need to start acting like men.

One author put it this way—  
    “A real man is not today's foppish, effeminate "metrosexual" male, obsessed with clothing and hair care. But neither is he the caveman caricature of "Maddox," author of the bestselling "The Alphabet of Manliness," whose "real man" is a foul-mouthed brute who takes advantage of women at every opportunity and knows how to crush a beer can on his forehead.

    The ultimate "real man," of course, was Jesus of Nazareth. He was strong, outspoken and God-centered – also patient, sensitive and caring (but not effeminate). He was a "force of one," who comforted the afflicted and afflicted the comfortable. He confronted people with their sins and hypocrisy, while offering nothing less than the way to God and everlasting happiness.”

So, men need to be “men of God” and start acting like the men God created them to be.

2.  A man of God needs to be first and foremost a man of character. (1 Timothy 6:11)
 
1 Timothy 6:11 (NKJV)
11  But you, O man of God, flee these things [the love of the world] and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, [and] gentleness…
 
3. Men need to be good providers for their families, but they must not put their jobs before their families.
 
Dad, what your children need most is you—not a new iPad, cell phone or the latest designer clothes.

4.  A man is to be faithful to his wife, treating her with kindness, respect and appreciation if his sons are going to grow up with a good attitude toward women and his daughters will grow up understanding what a good man is all about and be able to choose and marry a man who will treat them the same way—a godly Christian man.

5.  Fathers are to love the Lord with all their heart and teach their children from the Bible and by their actions what God the Father is like. (Deut.6:4-9)
 
6.  Men are to be leaders in the home (not self-absorbed dictators)—they are not to abdicate that responsibility to their wives and wives you are not to usurp that role from your husband.
 
For all of this to happen men need to grow up and stop being overgrown, selfish children indulging themselves in one toy after another; playing ball two or three nights a week and treating their families like a burden instead of a blessing.

And if your earthly fathers abused, rejected or neglected you there is nothing you can do about it—you can’t go back and change the past—but you don’t have to let the pain of the past control and ruin your life in the present and future.

If you had a bad childhood, work to make your kids childhood a real blessing.

Don’t walk in the mistakes and shortcomings of your earthly father—learn about fatherhood from the example of your Heavenly Father by looking at the life of Jesus!

There is a story of a father and his young son who were climbing a mountain when they came to a difficult and dangerous place on the trail—a fork in the road. When this dad stopped to consider which way he should go, he heard his son behind him say, "Choose the right way, Dad—I'm coming right behind you!"

Choose the right way in your life dad—the most important people in your life are coming right behind you!

Of course, that ‘right-way’ is Jesus, who said “I am the Way…”

Happy Father's Day!

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